Updated: May 8
Here Are The 7 Fundamental Elements Needed In A Healthy Relationship
This individual is transparent in all interactions and consistently tells the truth. They wish to be honest and they do not lie, try to trick you, omit or spin information for their own gain.
They take ownership of what they say and do. They follow through with promises. They take responsibility for their own emotions and behavior. If they make a mistake they own it and make amends.
They respect other people, and, most importantly, respect you enough to be considerate of how they choose their words and how they behave. There is no intention to hurt, humiliate, or demean you.
This person will state their thoughts, feelings, and opinions and expect the same from you. They will be assertive in their communication style and strive toward a win/win outcome where both parties are satisfied with the solution. Revenge is not in their sights. They can ask for what they need in a direct, honest, respectful way, where everyone’s dignity remains intact.
They are reasonable and rational in their interactions. They do not allow emotions to govern their behavior and you feel safe approaching them with concerns.
They want to support you in a healthy way, where both parties take ownership of their lives and emotions but support one another throughout the ups and downs. They have no interest in tearing you apart to get what they want. They want you to be emotionally intact and healthy.
They want an emotionally safe, healthy, loving relationship based on the fundamentals of mutual respect, decency, and commitment. They are open to true intimacy.
Entire books are written on the topic of healthy relationships and this is not a post that should be taken as a guide, as it is only a quick snapshot of what the baseline should look like. If you’ve been in a relationship with a psychological abuser you know that any baseline you used to have is long gone and you no longer even know what a healthy relationship looks like.
These seven points should be your new baseline. This is the standard by which you should judge all potential suitors and assess the health of the relationship. Do not deviate.